


inadequacy

by supercalifragili



Category: GOT7
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Encouragement, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:55:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26556964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercalifragili/pseuds/supercalifragili
Summary: jinyoung knocks his knee by yugyeom’s own, nodding ahead and doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t think he can when the knot in his throat seems to have cut short everything else that was going to tumble out of his mouth.
Relationships: Kim Yugyeom & Park Jinyoung, Kim Yugyeom/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	inadequacy

“you know, for being someone that prides themselves in being very practical you sure do waste a lot of time dilly-dallying for hours on end” jinyoung ruffles yugyeom's hair as he sits on the couch and picks up dalkyum in his arms, he pokes his snout and smiles when dalkyum nuzzles his hand.

“i’m actually unemployed at the moment, i think i’m allowed your so called dilly-dallying” yugyeom says matter-of-factly.

which, fair. 

“you’re somewhat of a not so good reviewer to be honest” jinyoung grumps a bit

“what gives?”

“you’re biased” jinyoung says like it's obvious

“who wouldn’t be?” yugyeom says like it's obvious

which, again, fair.

yugyeom is a lot more supportive than jinyoung can manage to acknowledge about himself, while the times the others effuse their compliments are rather seldom, yugyeom makes it his mission to be graciously -and shamelessly- biased in his opinions regarding jinyoung. 

“don’t you think you’re being too kind?”

“about what?”

“this movie i’m going to be in, what if i’m not as good as you think i am?”

yugyeom ponders quietly, he scoffs and then hums like the thought of jinyoung willingly putting himself down is laughable at best and jinyoung doesn’t bristle at the idea that his insecurities might be a topic of derision in yugyeom’s mind because they aren’t. at least to yugyeom.

“you’re really something you know, hyung?” he starts, he puts down his phone by the armchair of the couch and turns in his direction, jinyoung mirrors his movements and yeah… _here it comes_ , he thinks, the stubborn arch in yugyeom’s brow and the click of his jaw, how he breathes in as if he won’t be able to do so for the duration of the time he says what he needs to say, what he wants to say  
“let’s say you think you’re not going to be good… what’s the use in saying that if you’re giving it your best right now? what’s the point of downgrading your work before you even start? What profit does it give you to dismiss your talent and hard work?” his voice is so gentle, jinyoung wonders for a moment before he answers those questions to himself.

fair. fair. fair. 

yugyeom has a way to make jinyoung’s worries seem small, he can diminish their strength with just his words.

jinyoung knocks his knee by yugyeom’s own, nodding ahead and doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t think he can when the knot in his throat seems to have cut short everything else that was going to tumble out of his mouth.  
yugyeom doesn’t say anything else after that, yugyeom doesn’t talk as much as he makes people think. He’s very lively, very out there, but he’s reserved all the same and he won’t say anything if he doesn’t have to so when he does say something, even at the expense of looking like a fool or upsetting his elders everything just comes out as it should be…  
truth hurts, in a way. but when it comes out of yugyeom’s mouth… well, jinyoung can’t get upset. he doesn’t think he ever would.  
jinyoung lays his head on yugyeom’s shoulder and snuggles till he's on his arm and stays there. he circles yugyeom's middle with his own arms and waits for his thoughts to settle, for his mind to stop running so fast, for his worries to subside.

“thank you” he says, honorifics and all and yugyeom snorts, shrugs a bit and goes back to his phone.

jinyoung does love some praise, when it comes from people he knows, he prides himself in not paying too much attention to external voices, external comments. 

there are bits of conversations jinyoung recalls for his own personal enjoyment when he thinks he’s not enough, when he thinks it’s all useless, when he thinks trying is as good as not trying at all, when his auditions don’t go as well as he'd want them to go, when he can’t get some roles because of conflicting schedules, when he thinks he’s not going to be something -someone- more than what he is. 

yugyeom is a bit different when it comes to “faltering”. he doesn’t say much about himself, not to his fans, not to anyone if he’s not asked directly and he feels like answering without evading the question.  
he says what you like to hear, he says all the things he needs to say, he might mean them, but you never know if he’s playing into a role because he just seems so pure, so kind, so luminescent that who would ever think he’s going through it.

jinyoung doesn’t miss the signs, he does wait a lot because whatever it is like for yugyeom he doesn’t know, and yugyeom never comes in the end. he doesn’t. he wills the failures, disappointments, the feelings on inadequacy out of his system. yugyeom does a lot of running for someone that seems to be skipping through a field of flowers and jinyoung looks at him panting through smiles, struggling to catch his breath through “service”. he accepts compliments, but he doesn’t do much with them, he doesn’t do anything with them.

when dalkyum appears jinyoung does a double take, he laughs and picks the ball of fur in his arms. yugyeom heaves, sniffs, tears up and sneezes for a long time before he gets a bit accustomed to and jinyoung finds the whole thing very silly, but very yugyeom too.  
yugyeom looks at the ball of fluff with a lot of fondness, a lot of exasperation, a lot of love, a lot of peace.

jinyoung finds it therapeutic for yugyeom and for himself. yugyeom gives so much for nothing in return, he gives his time, his willingness, his patience, tenacity, for nothing really. jinyoung wonders when he’ll get tired of it, but he considers kind people are kind for a reason.

jinyoung is kind, but yugyeom? he doesn’t think he can beat the saint at kindness, selflessness, and willingness.

yugyeom suffers alone, he used to share before, he used to say when he was younger, now he doesn’t. he doesn’t praise himself, you can’t find him praising his work, you can’t see him appreciating his skills. someone might say is modesty, but jinyoung knows yugyeom doesn’t say because he doesn’t think it’s much. like he doesn’t think much of anything he is. for someone so bright, there’s a downcast shadow at his feet.

so jinyoung makes it _his_ mission, like yugyeom does for him, not to repay him for his kindness but to say he sees it, he appreciates it and if the blush on yugyeom’s face when he mentions it says something then he figures he’s done a good job. if the confused look, if the embarrassed one, if the “okay let’s move on, please hyung” say something then he figures it’s enough.

**Author's Note:**

> damn… do i look like i know what happened… i didn’t mean for this to be a character study… very cynical one at that. but i just needed to get it out. idk. jingyeom makes me feel tingz.
> 
> jinyoung is very protective… maybe i’ll write something about that one day… when i’m strong enough lol
> 
> this fic it could be put as established relationship or just friendship,,,, y’all can take it as you will. 
> 
> pls pardon the format if it comes out wonky and if there are any mistakes... i wrote this on a whim today bc reasons i guess and i write these things in my notes bc idk… microsoft word makes me feel anxious lol. i'll recheck and see what needs to be fixed, pls have some patience with me.


End file.
